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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Onward Spartan Warriors

Lt. Jeffrey B. Stankiewicz, XO
North Idaho 21st Light Foot Militia

Dear Lt. Stankiewicz,

I am delighted that you chose a Spartan helmet and crossed short swords as your unit patch. It's fitting that those who now stand in the breech between liberty and godless comunistofascism do so bearing a symbol honoring the brave 300 who died at Thermopylae.

But are you prepared to undertake the ancient Spartan warrior ceremonies to which you allude in the words sewn into your unit rounder, "ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ" (rough English translation: "Bring The Lube")? I'm one of the few modern men who know or understand these venerable ceremonies. I'd be honored to share these secret rites with you and your men. Indeed, I'd be honored to do it, for there is no greater honor a warrior can give another than to wrestle him in the ancient manner of our Spartan philosophical forefathers.

As modern Spartans, you and your men deserve that honor. You deserve to feel the joyous satisfaction that comes from grappling each other oiled and naked as you struggle for domination until the better achieves victory my driving his hard, throbbing, Shaft of Masculine Triumph deep inside his opponent's Cave of Eternal Shame.

I'm free to come at anytime provided I'm given enough notice. Just send me a notice. I can provide all that's needed for the ceremonies including the chicken feathers, goats, watermelon drillers, and military grade M-28-A lubricant. Just give me a date and location.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


  1. General Sir: Their only response to you must be "Come and take them!"

  2. Sir, I recomend Honda 96, an exellent high temp moly lube. When the going gets tough the tough reach for Honda 96!

  3. Sir,
    After following the link to these fella's up narth, I can see why they are 'light in the feet' if you know wht I mean.
    Oh my heck.

  4. I took a look at the Idaho 21's website and found it pleasantly devoid of Xian dominionist rhetoric.

    On the other hand, they're still trigger happy whack jobs.

  5. Anonymous3:39 PM

    You didn't read the position paper by their "Master Sergeant"?

    The right is becoming militaristic in a scary way. They are so upset by the nigra in the WH that we may violence over it. Apparently (and Glenn Beck told me this)he has become a dictator and ruined America in only 6 months. I think that if he's that evil, they should give up now.

    I just can't get over the big blind spot that covers the last eight years in the minds of these people. Weird.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.