Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "")

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Government wants to Touch your Children's Naughty Bits

That's what Our Lady of The Quiverfull, Mrs. Pastor Steven L. Anderson, tells us:
In any case, these children are being brainwashed that it is okay for government agents to touch them like that, but anytime anyone else does it, it is considered molestation. I mean, with the government takeover of the health care system, doctors, nurses, and TSA agents all work for the same Big Daddy. Well, at least one pediatrician in the area was not quite the saint he was supposed to be. And then, shock of shocks, he fled house arrest a couple of months ago. So Kent Hovind [Dr. Dino] goes to federal prison for 10 years for supposed tax evasion, while a pediatrician distributing child p*rn [porn] on the internet gets house arrest that is not even very well supervised.

Next, we will be told that police can carry out these same "pat-downs" because, after all, they work for the government, and thus are god-like and always above reproach. And while we are at it, kids on their way into school should be subject to the same procedures, but again, no worries - we'll have teachers doing it, because being government workers, they can do no wrong. We need to trust them more.

Update from Heaven

Fox and Friends interviews Little Coulton Burpo, the little boy who went to Heaven and met God Jesus and John the Baptist. Like I said in my review of his dad's book, this kid gets every detail right. God is huge, man! He can palm the world in his hand!

Thanks for, once again, making my review the "Top Favorable Review."


  1. I don't believe it! Everyone knows that when you get to heaven you get a pony, he never mentions the pony?

  2. "Jesus had sea-blue eyes...a rough but kind face..."

    For those of you who chose Max Von Sydow in your Fantasy Messiah League you may just go all the way!

  3. And he was interviewed by the Virgin Mary. Just can't beat that FOX News.

  4. I wonder if on al-Jazeera they interview little Mahometans who died and went to 72-Virginland? Because I bet those credulous Allahmaniacs would totally believe something like that, as iggerent and superstitious as they are. Wotta buncha maroons, with their silly religion, thinking something so far-fetched could be true. Unlike Christianityism, which was revealed by the blue-faced, rough-eyed Gawd Himself.

  5. If anyone was to try and gropple Zzuzzuki's little baseball team of tykes, they'd get carpal tunnel synfuldrome before they were done. I'm sure Pastor Battlin' Anderson doesn't do like Calfolick Priestifuls and diddle his chilluns, either. He does like the Holey Bobble says, and beats them! Beat 'em like you were an Arizona cop and they were a mouthy driver, Steven! That will teach them to respect the lesson of authority, which is to bow down to those who can inflict pain upon you. Like God.

  6. 1. Doesn't Ms. Anderson know her place? the TSA is a BUSH creation! Therefore if TSA agents fondle her kiddies' naughty bits, she should approve, because its For Our Own Good. It's only bad if the TSA was a Democrat idea.

    2. So, did God tell little Mr Burpo how many angels CAN dance of the head of a pin?

  7. Burpo, the least popular Marx brother.

  8. I think that kid came across a box of old comics in the attic. That's not God he's describing; it's THE SPECTRE.

    Take a look: The Spectre has even gone toe-to-toe with the Devil!


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.