Does Rep. Damschen have a sick lust for melons

Rep. Damschen responded (see below) to my invitation to join the Billion Spermatazoan-American March on Washington, and he wasn't very nice about it. I'm thinking he must be using all this zygote-American protection stuff as cover for some wickedness he's performing against our spermatazoan-American brothers. Here's my response.

Rep. Chuck Damschen
North Dakota House of Representatives

Dear Rep. Damschen,

Thank you for getting back to me, but your argument against granting personhood to spermatazoan-Americans is so obviously wrong, I can only assume that you were being disingenuous. Yes, it is true that zygote-Americans will eventually become real people if they are allowed to develop, but the same could be said of our spermatazoan-brothers. One cannot look at them under a microscope and not see the humanity in their desperately horny wiggling. It's a lot like watching College Republicans at an open bar if you think about it. Sure, the odds of them scoring are extremely remote, but that doesn't mean we should stop serving them Coors.

It doesn't matter whether they are Spermatazoan-Americans or College Republicans, every single one of them has the potential to be a normal human being, and they deserve our protection.

So I have to wonder why you are so dead set on allowing this tubesock holocaust to continue?

Is it because you do not want to stop doing something that by its very nature murders spermantazoan-Americans. I understand you're a farmer. Do you grow watermelons per chance? If so, is that your problem?

You can talk to me about it. I've heard the melon's siren call. I know what it's like to see a luscious watermelon lying seductively in a bed of leaves and vines, the twilight sun gently caressing its smooth firm rind. I know how tempting it is to cut a hole in it and to take it right there in the field. I've fallen for that temptation, myself. I've experienced the incredible sensation of a melon's sun-warmed pulp engulfing my hard wicked tuber, and I've celebrated the glorious planting of my seed deep within its flesh. But each of these brief moments of ecstasy led to the deaths of 412,000,001 spermatazoan-Americans.

There comes a point where the guilt overwhelms you and you just have to stop. That's what I did, and you can do it too. I've produced a video to assist watermelonophiles in their quest to regain purity. I'm enclosing it for your benefit. I hope you find it helpful.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

p.s. You may notice that I'm wearing an "Ex-masturbator" shirt in the video. I consider masturbation to be the slaughter of innocent spermatazoan-Americans. Liberating them into a mason jar is an act of salvation rather than masturbation.



Here's Rep. Damschen's reponse to my first letter.

From: "Damschen, Charles D."
Sent: Monday, February 23, 2009 8:42 PM
Subject: RE: The Next Step

When you get a chance, study up on the facts of life concerning how neither egg nor sperm develop life by themselves - the sperm has to fertilize the egg to begin the first stage of life - conception. No life has ever fully developed without first completing this stage. The body develops for approximately 9 months before leaving the womb and then develops for 9 -13 years to puberty, then continues to develop further and reaches adulthood by about the age of 18 -21 years, perhaps later in your case. If you destroy the developing body at any of these stages, development ceases and it dies. Taking the life of this developing person at its most helpless, defenseless stage of development while inside or partially inside the womb is called abortion.

Now you've received more of an answer than deserved. Read it carefully several times until you grasp the understanding of how and when life begins and how and when it ends.

Chuck Damschen
ND House of Representatives
District 10