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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The pastor's wife

I'm adding a chapter about the Faithful Word Baptist Church schism to the Even Newer Testament God commanded me to write, but it will be a few days before it's ready to post. In the mean time, there are new developments. It appears that Zsuzsana is the one who hacked into Helen Edward's blog, and filled with the spirit of the Lord, mocked her sanity with a poll (I think all the worrying about her husband and Amanda is getting to Zsuzsanna).

Someone, my guess is Zsuzsanna, also hacked into another dissenters blog, and like Paul to the Thessalonians, mocked her for her weight:
These are a few of my favorite things...
Big Macs
Little Debbie's Snack Cakes
Ranch dressing by the bowl
anything made with hydrogenated lard
my sedentary job as an ACE school monitor
The hacker seized a third persons blog as well and made fun of her poverty:
We need a ride to Apache Junction, Arizona. I've posted an ad on Craigslist requesting a rideshare, but haven't received any replies. Please help!! If you're headed I-40 W out of Memphis, please let us know. My sister and I have sold all our earthly possessions, since we won't be needing them. Between the two of us we have $37.43 to help pay for gas. We must arrive before the Edwards family performs the ceremony and we're left behind!!
Posted by Ashley at 2:22 PM 7 comments
Labels: desperation, donation, help, please, rideshare
And posted a phony suicide note:
I will no longer be blogging. My sister and I have entered into a suicide pact with the Edwards family, our only true friends 'til the end
Zsuzsanna took a break from blogging for a few days--well, on her own blog anyway; as you can see, she's been very busy blogging the gospel on others. But, she returned yesterday with a post featuring her father shooting the ol' Anderson family AR-15 assault rifle (no doubt a skill he picked up from the Államvédelmi Hatóság). Given the events of the last week, it looks like a not-so-subtle threat against the Edwards family to me. Praise the Lord!

By their works, ye shall know them.


  1. The Nazi doesn't fall far from the tree, I see.

  2. Ahhh, well, this might be a bit juvenile....but if anyone subscribes to magazines and you're annoyed by the little subscription cards that fall out, take a moment, fill one out for someone and mail it off. Your friends will be "thrilled" at your thoughtfulness. I think the good pastor would love to get a subscription to Playboy!

    Faithful Word Baptist Church

    Pastor Steven L. Anderson
    2707 W Southern Ave, Suite #105
    Tempe, AZ 85282

    Phone: (480) 248-4082

  3. I think that crosses a line Cherry, both morally and legally, so I won't be participating. Besides, I think the Pastor would much rather receive a subscription to Blueboy

    (and no, that link is probably NSFW)

  4. I'm torn, on the one hand I feel sorry for the Edwards,but on the other they are True ChristiansTM and would probably quite happily burn me at the stake. So it's kinda like watching two T. Rex's tear each other apart and feeling sorry for the one that's losing.

    In the end it's better to watch from a distance.

  5. Rev Pb, I think you're right about the line, but after the last eight years it amazing anyone can find a line, anywhere. It all seems so blurred, anymore.

  6. Only a true witch, with the full power of Satan behind her (and in her behind), could so effortlessly hack into so many blogs in so short a time. This Zsuzsupetal is not someone you want to cross without, at the very least, an apostle providing covering fire.

  7. Mullets on men over 50 are like white patent leather shoes anytime.

  8. Anonymous9:54 AM

    Ms. Poppy: Is it a mullet or a rat tail?

  9. Ohmigod! It's like watching a roomful of 4-year-olds go at it after they've been hyped up on red cordial (legendary Aussie kid's drink loaded with sugar and strange chemical dye, like Kool-Aid, only toxic.) But these 4-year-olds have computers and religious fixations.

    I left a comment on Zuluzanta's post about her dad taking mass-shooting practice, which will probably not get past moderation. But I don't want my words to fall in a forest where nobody reads the sound. Or something like that. So this is what SHOULD have been there:

    Which of those gunslinger pictures do you think should be in the New York Times after your dad freaks out and massacres a lot of people like the guy just did in Alabama? I'm having SO much fun watching your Christopathic cult freak out via the Jesus's General blog! Keep up the good wack.

    Now I can't wait to see what's gonna happen when Zeusinsanea uses her powers of witchery and takes over teh Gen'l's blog!

  10. Search on Faithful Word Baptist Church on Google and you get a top sponsored link. Search on baptist church and the sponsored link shows up in the right sponsored link.

    It can't be cheap to be purchasing these sponsored links. Nudge Nudge, wink wink.

  11. General, Sir:

    This is like, "The Battle Of The Titans"; ooookay, it's more like, "The Battle Of The Titanically Fucked". But, wow! These people are like the NY Yankees 26 WS titles when it comes to owning the KRRRRRRRRRRRRAZZZZZZy.

  12. Rev,
    Someone with a truly twisted sense of humor could go down to the public library (so as not to use one's own IP address) and post an ad for the good pastor on craigslist under "men seeking Men"....
    But not me, no sir. I would NEVER do that. Or at least not today.

  13. It looks like dad would only be able to shoot a poodle-popper like that AR15 due to his fat assgut and atrocious shooting form.

    A real man's gun would knock him on his manhole if he tried shooting like that.

  14. Dear Sir: I detect some sarcasm in your post about Christians mocking people for their weight and poverty. I'm confused. Didn't Jesus talk about that all the time (when he wasn't diddling prostitutes?

    The only problem I see is that the focus on weight and poverty seems to be detracting from time spent damning men who like to play with other men's body parts.

    One day a week to dis the overweight. One day for the poor. And really, the rest should be focused on human sexuality, particularly the penis.

  15. General, Sir:

    Way OT...but I heard tonight that Air America has continued its hard downhill slide by hiring Montel Williams to replace Lionel 9a-12p starting April 6. Montel might be the only guy in America worse than Lionel and his hiring brought to mind the following item which was first brought to our attention by none other than The General:

  16. I'm hoping the General's talented lyricists can turn this into a musical, something on the order of "West Side Story," but classier.

  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  18. Indeed Mutzali, to quote a certain ex-president now smoking a turd in hell - We could do it, but it would be wrong.

  19. You people may think I am insane, but I don't car. You are not my judge

  20. Zsusz -- with luck, you can go before a REAL judge who can rule on your sanity!

    Hwy -- I just figured it out -- you changed your name by adding a zed in the front and the middle of Susanna! You're like Zsa Zsa Gabor! How kewl is that? I bet you've been doing that since you were 13. You must get SUCH larfs out of people mispronouncing it. I hope you ridicule them for being mushmouths when they do.

    P.S. Lulz 2 yer blog. The one that links from your comment, that is. You are a commando-style MILF! But since you're a good Christian woman, you don't know what that means. Protect your sweet, holy innocence by not bothering to find out.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.