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Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Keepin' the rich, white, Christian man down with political correctness

Top ten pieces of evidence that liberal political correctness is still holding the rich, white, Christian man down.

10. A young Republican can't call the President a "coon" without being branded as a bigot.

9. A Governor can't stop running for re-election a year and a half early without it being called a resignation.

8. The new conservative Chancellor of Honduras can't call the President a "a little black man who knows nothing" without being called a racist.

7. A coerced childbirth activist can't call an OB/GYN a "baby murderer," and link to his home and work addresses and his photos of him, his wife, his daughter and his clinic without being accused of inciting violence.

6. The Honduran military can't kidnap and deport their legally elected president without being accused of staging a coup.

5. A family-values-touting Governor can't hike up an Argentine woman's appalachian trail without being called a hypocrite.

4. A GOP Senate candidate can't swell his perceived base by signing onto numerous "Get Tons Of Twitter Followers, Fast" services without people laughing at him.

3. One of the largest Republican county committees in Florida can't post numerous photos of signs comparing the President to Hitler without someone saying they endorse those signs.

2. Second Amendment enthusiasts can't shoot 6 law enforcement officers over a few months because "they're going to take our guns" without the NRA's rhetoric being blamed.

1. Seventy-five patriotic right wing activists cannot be arrested for committing terrorist acts without the Department of Justice issuing a report on right wing terrorism.

Bonus 2. A conservative love segregation organization cannot illegally withhold its funding information without being accused of hiding something.

Bonus 1. An anti-Islamic pundit featured in an anti-Islamic DVD distributed to hundreds of thousands of people during the last presidential campaign can't convert to Islam and tell everyone he lied on the DVD without people laughing at Pam "Atlas Shrugs" Geller.

12 comments:

  1. Why they always wanna keep the white man down?

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  2. "Finally, a white man gets to run things!"

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  3. Clearly, we gotta fight for our dying race. Thank you for clarifying things, General.

    However, as a woman, with only two saggy boobs and one passive vagina, I cannot possibly take any kind of leadership role in this fight.

    I beg all other shemales to join me as I stand by my man in the culture war of all time. I'm sure that if I just cook and clean and coo more lovingly, my guy will shortly get up off his sorry ass and start plotting some kind of murder spree of some religious or racial minority members or even liberal political figures in a macho whitely effort to defend his paleskinned racially pure manhoodliness.

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  4. BTW General - far be it from me to keep a fellow oppressed white male from bringing in the Benjamins, and I know the ads are placed by an Ad-bot, but you do realize the "way to happiness. com" is Scientology group, right? Not sure if the right thing to do is to laugh at them all the way to the bank (methinks they are as likely to gain converts here as the KKK) or to refuse to take their money. Just thought I'd mention it though.

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  5. I don't think our General need worry unduly about His followers embracing Scientology by entering a portal from His holy site.

    Don't overlook how difficult it is to be a rich, white, Christian man. You've got to protect both your money and your women from the brown menace.

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  6. General, Sir:
    You've hit the nail on the head, as usual. What's more American (and by American I of course mean the only kind of American there is that counts which is--I don't have to tell you, sir, white guys,preferably of the monied persuasion--than shooting some baby-killers and law enforcement officers who are coming to take yer gun; cheating on your wife (although doing it with a non-man seems a little odd); calling the president not just a socialist but a National Socialist and a coon to boot; and all the rest? What, sir, is this country coming to?

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  7. swell his perceived base

    Sir, I know you yourself are 110% manly, but please try to have a little compassion on those of us who are less gifted, huh? MOJane makes me feel bad enough with all that giggling.

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  8. The links for #3 and #4 are the same...

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  9. A request for comment:

    #1 says "patriotic" -- and though I could see this possibly meaning "allegedly-patriotic", I also like to mentally-substitute "idiotic" for the misguided, unthinking militia/malicia types.

    Having debated this with an (alleged) ex-jarhead of a singularly narrow-tracked mind, I can honestly say that logic and facts are very scarce when it comes to "right-wing malicia" folks, as they've ingested so much kool-aid, diesel fumes, and saltpeter (from firearms) that they can't get beyond the "playing army" stage of childhood development.

    -vallor
    p.s. I guess i should reiterate that the armed service i served in was the USCG: And they are that hard kernel that the Navy forms around in time of war.

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  10. p.p.s. Oh, and I've also found that almost all of play-army types have actually never served in an armed service of these United States...and when confronted with counter-arguments based on facts, they inevitably run like a scalded weasel.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.