Our Lady of the Holy Wolf Slaughter, Sister Sarah Palin, whose major accomplishments include:
- Fought for and signed House Bill 3001 for awarding a contract to TransCanada Alaska for developing and building a pipeline stretching for 1,715 miles from the Prudhoe Bay treatment plant to Alberta Canada.
- Fired the gubernatorial chef.
- Issued Administrative Order 242 signed August 20, 2008. This order puts together a co-op of the Department of Natural Resources and the Department of Revenue to work with organizations who wish to commercialize Alaska's North Slope natural gas.
- Defended the Constitutional right to use aircraft when executing wolfofascists.
- Follows God's commandment to pee standing up.
- Raises his children to hate "faggots" and Obama.
- Preaches that Barney Frank, gays, and Obama should die.
- Fails to stop wife and followers from persecuting (multiple posts) a family and mocking their twelve-year-old daughter.
- The Mental Health Parity Act of 1996
- State Children's Health Insurance Program (S-CHIP)
- Edward M. Kennedy Serve America Act of 2009 (Americorps)
- The Civil Rights Act of 1964
- The Voting Rights Act of 1965
- Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993
- Fair Housing Act of 1968
- Handicapped Children's Protection Act of 1986 (overturning a SCOTUS decision)
- Ryan White Care Act of 1990 (AIDS care)
- Americans with Disability Act of '90
- Civil Rights Act of 1991
- Minority Health & Health Disparities Research & Education Act of 2000
- National & Community Service Trust Act of 1993 (Americorps)
- Mammography Quality Standards Act of 1990
- Military Child Care Act of 1989
- The WARN Act of 1988 (60 days notice prior to plant closings)
- Employment Opportunities for Disabled Americans Act of 1986
- Anti-Apartheid Act of 1986 (vetoed by Reagan)
- Job Training Partnership Act of 1980
- Refugee Act of 1980
- Civil Rights of Institutionalized Persons Act of 1980
- Individuals with Disabilities in Education Act - 1975
- Title IX of Education Amendments of '72 (bans sex discrimination by schools getting Fed $)
- Establishment of Women, Infants & Childrens ("WIC") Nutrition Program at USDA
- Low Income Heating Energy Assistance Act of 1970
- Older American Community Service Employment Act of 1970
- Occupational Safety & Health Administration Act of 1970
- The Voting Rights Act amendments of 1970
- The Bilingual Education Act of 1968
- The Economic Opportunity Act of 1964 (War on Poverty: Head Start, Job Corps)
- The Mental Health Parity Act of 1996
This is a trick question, right? Everybody who is anybody can put two and two together and come up with Palin + Anderson {=,~,?} Xianists, the true heirs of prophesy as in:
ReplyDelete[Matthew 23:23&27&28&33&34]...23 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, hypocrites that you are! You pay tithes on mint, fennel, and caraway seed, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice, mercy, and good faith. These last you ought to have put into practice, without neglecting the first.27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and dead men’s bones and all kinds of filth. 28 It is the same with you. Outwardly, and to others, you have the look of religious men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and sin.”...33 “You serpents and brood of vipers! How can you escape being sentenced to the pit? 34 That is why I send you prophets, wise men, and teachers of the law, some of whom you will crucify and kill, and some of whom you will scourge in your synagogues, and persecute from town to town;...)
You know...that is a trick question, cuz everybody knows it was a Jew who put this idea out there in the first place!
That Kennedy guy....maybe we should sit back and fully appreciate that above his legislative accomplishments, he never became Xianist.
But...but...but...but...but...Palin saved Trig from the bad black man! And Anderson will do something good for someone in need, someday, I'm sure of it.
ReplyDeleteYou know what? Ted Kennedy made our country a better place, by fighting the good fight as best he could. He didn't have to, but he did it anyway. To compare him with Palin and Anderson is unfair: she, someone who farts and thinks she just made a thought bubble, and he, a frightened extremist looking to shed blood for a primitive volcano god are not worthy adversaries.
Ted Kennedy came from an older school, one wherein one's faith was not brandished like some cliquish branding iron, but rather as a silent contract observed in a landscape that was personal and maybe even (gasp) sacred.
Well done, Ted. Tat tvam asi.
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You can eliminate that Kennedy right off the bat, because of that list of laws you listed. What is a law but a restriction on freedom, after all? Like laws to deny our freedom to refuse to serve food to the wrong kinda people, or to refuse to thatkinda vote, or to refuse to give medical help to those same wrongapeople...
ReplyDeleteLook, they're free to crawl under a bush and die if they don't want to work hard enough to have the money to pay for medical care to keep them alive. Ted Kennedy stood for restricting their freedom!
As far as the other two, which of them supports shooting sodomites while flying in helicopters? Whichever one does, they have my vote.
Hmm. Who has made my life and the lives of my family better? Ex-Gov. Palin? Pastor "Dont Taze me, bro" Anderson? Or Senator Kennedy?
ReplyDeleteI wish I had more snark. But I don't. Thank you, General, for putting it all into perspective.
You know what makes me crazy? This great man spent his whole career fighting for national health care and didn't live to see it happen. He's more worthy than the God people deserve and will therefore get to go to Druid heaven.
ReplyDeleteRemember Sister Sarah's group prayed for the death of Mother Theresa. Mother Theresa died--proof of Sister Sarah's hotline to God.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSenator Kennedy isn't ALL bad. He did get that whore killed on that bridge awhile back. Amen for that!
ReplyDeleteThanks for leaving off NCLB. Not one of his finer moments. Did he really think that sucker was gonna work?
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDeleteYour confusion is understandable. Just remember: Up is down, blue is yellow, and hot is cold. Here's a handy field guide to the Republican "mind." Enjoy.
.
Aaron Kinney:
ReplyDeleteHave you finished cleaning all of the urinals at Fox News, with your tongue? I mean you are just about the most masochistic fuck that comes to this blog. You're a self-important dickhead who likes saying obnoxiously stupid things, just so people can tell you what a fucking tool you are.
Just one hint, if you're going to vilify Ted, calling Mary Jo Kopechne a whore is a non-starter.
Aaron, found your favorite movie for you, in Readers Digest form:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=fountainhead+in+five+seconds&search_type=&aq=f
I can't help but wonder why that comment wasn't deleted, but I guess it is educational to know just how sick some people are. Thanks for that,
ReplyDeleteAK, you make a great poster child for the batshit, dangerously crazy.
Hey, congrats, general. We got linked in the same sentence on Crooks and Liars. As you were. That is all.
ReplyDelete(Bukko, how come you don't comment anymore at my place?)
Dan: Best movie ever. The five-second version, that is. Brilliant. Four fucking stars.
ReplyDeleteAaron K: Galt this, pal.
Why is it that everyone else is able to play along, but when I try to make a sarcastic/in-character comment too, everyone takes it literally? You all come off as a bit over defensive, perhaps insecure?
ReplyDeleteAnd Democommie, the caliber and quality of your insults has dropped off significantly as of late. I've been enjoying your comments less and less. Your insult to me up above is your worst effort yet. You no longer come off as the frothing-at-the-mouth, grey haired, crazy old wrinkly coot that we've come to know and love. Why don't you get your star shining brightly again?
SeattleDan, thanks, but I think you're confused: I don't do The Fountainhead. I'm an anarchist, which makes me more of a Noam Chomsky and V for Vendetta kind of guy.
Dave von Ebers, you can go suck Ayn Rand's penis any time you want, I won't stop you.
Oh, please. Just fucking please. You’re an died in the wool libertarian and you fucking know it. By the way, Aaron, the Annoying Peasant routine doesn’t suit you.
ReplyDeleteAaron: the joke perhaps would have worked better if you didn't refer to a young woman whom none of us knew, who was not a public figure, as a "whore." Was she a sexual partner of Kennedy's? Perhaps. If humor was the intent of the comment you might consider taking a course in stand-up to help you identify the difference between comedy and bile--such distinctions can be slender, but are important regardless.
ReplyDeleteIt seems rather more likely that you wished to point out the single most tawdry episode in Ted Kennedy's life, just in case anyone had forgotten. Is it possible you sought to serve as a corrective to all of the positive remembrances vis a vis Senator Kennedy, all of those nanny-state supplicants that have been in the news and on the internet, heaping praise upon a man whose politics you disagree with? Your joke revealed more about you than it did about Teddy or Mary. Hoisted by your own petard, that sort of thing...
++++
Aaron:
ReplyDeleteI'm not trying to be humorous you fucking moron. Your schtick is to be as offensive as possible and then be offended when people call you on it. I would prefer not to have to read your drivel. Really, bub, it's not give and take. You're a fucking asshole, you have not made a statement here, in recent memory, that wasn't stupid or offensive and searching for clever ways to insult you is a waste of time. You are a concern troll--that's it. You're not worth replying to. You will notice if you come back to my blog that the comment you left there was deleted. I have nothing to say to you at my place and when you go away from this blog, I will have nothing to say to you here. Until then, I guess I will just have to keep telling you what a fucking douchebag you are.
Telling Mr. von Ebers that he can suck Ayn Rand's dick is a fail. You could, perhaps, suck Ann Coulter's dick, though.
What Aaron Ninny MEANT to say is "At least Teddy taught all impressionable young women to stay out of the back seat of drunken politicians' cars when they drove across narrow bridges on dark nights. Because no one else has died like Mary Jo Kopechne since then. (Fanne Fox crawled out of the Tidal Basin and lived to tell the tale, after all.)"
ReplyDeleteThat might have been at least a pathetic attempt at funny, while being a snarky reich-wing reminder that "Hey -- Ted Kennedy killed a young woman in his car." Because Teddy never did anything else in his life, right?
But to write something along the lines of what I did would require 1.) A knowledge of history and similar events, and 2.) A sense of humour and irony. But rightists like AK (isn't that the sound that Bill the Cat used to make when he was vomiting in the "Bloom County" comic strip?) don't have any irony/humour. That's why there are no funny "conservative" comedians, except for P.J. O'Rourke occasionally spitting out so laughable bile.
Aaron, you're not an anarchist. You're just a sad bastard with no friends. Especially here. You might ask yourself "Why am I such a masochist? What is it that draws me to comment on a site where I am reviled? Why do I revel in being insulted?
"WHY IS MY LEVEL OF HATRED FOR MYSELF SO GREAT THAT I MUST EXPOSE MY PATHETIC WRITING TO PEOPLE WHO ARE DISGUSTED BY ME?!?"
Ask yourself those questions, Aaron. Then write us an essay with your responses. Just post it on some other blog.
General, Sir:
ReplyDelete"Why fuck with people like this? Why don't you find a community where people are actually interested in what you write."
I think Aaron prolly does that in between trips here; so far, no luck in finding a blog that values his opinion.