Right Wing Extreme Militia
Dear Mr. Shannon,
Today, I received a number of photos from someone who identified himself as "Sir Terry the Limber, Royal Quartermaster." I assume you asked him to send them. If that's the case, thank you for finally coming to your senses. Now, we can get to work.
As per my request, everyone in the photos is wearing their invisible Ephesians 6 Armor of God and nothing else. The skin indentations indicate that you are all wearing your armor correctly except for the Codpiece of Redemptive Anger--none of you have that right. Your man grenades hang freely when they should be tucked safely inside the codpiece. Heck, the overweight hairy guy appears to have three grenades, and they hang so low, they could create a tripping hazard during close arms combat. He needs to police up his satchel charges, immediately.
I'm also concerned by the photo I assume to be yours--it's the only one showing a man holding a scepter. I've been staring at your "little soldier" for a little over an hour now (and as I promised you last night, I did not touch myself, much). While I'm impressed by your little soldier's pistol-barrel-like rigidity, and monstrous length--I estimate it at nearly three inches--I'm more than a little concerned about its shooting end. You appear to have a Judeo-Muslim helmet rather a good, god-fearing, Baptist aardvark down there.
Are you sure you're not some kind of Kenyan?
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
American Christian Militia
The Prince And I: Previous discussions with Prince Shannon
I write Prince Shannon
Recording: My first call to Prince Shannon.
Calling Prince Shannon again.
Another email: A Fist full of Photos
Recording: Calling Shannon Carson again
Elsewhere: Prince Shannon gives me a shout out on his radio show. Not much there. He started to discuss our militia, then seemed to get sidetracked. I think he might be secretly re-evaluating his position on Spartan-style wrestling. That'd explain why he seemed so preoccupied.