Shooting the Breeze with Yahweh

A lot of people know that Mitt believes that both the Bible (KJV) and the Book of Mormon are sacred scriptures, but few are aware that two other holy books, the Pearl of Great Price and the Doctrine and Covenants, are just as sacred to Mormons. The latter one is my favorite, because it documents God's conversations with dudes in the 19th and 20th centuries.

Section 21 is a good example of what the Lord, God of Abraham had to say when he was shooting the breeze with his mortal buds. It begins with God saying he hates freaking rivers so much, he's cursed them, but he wants Sid Gilbert and Bill Phelps to get into a canoe and get their asses down river, anyway:

3 But verily I say unto you, that it is not needful for this whole company of mine elders to be moving swiftly upon the waters, whilst the inhabitants on either side are perishing in unbelief.

4 Nevertheless, I suffered it that ye might bear record; behold, there are many dangers upon the waters, and more especially hereafter;

5 For I, the Lord, have decreed in mine anger many destructions upon the waters; yea, and especially upon these waters.

6 Nevertheless, all flesh is in mine hand, and he that is faithful among you shall not perish by the waters.

7 Wherefore, it is expedient that my servant Sidney Gilbert and my servant William W. Phelps be in haste upon their errand and mission.

8 Nevertheless, I would not suffer that ye should part until you were chastened for all your sins, that you might be one, that you might not perish in wickedness;

9 But now, verily I say, it behooveth me that ye should part. Wherefore let my servants Sidney Gilbert and William W. Phelps take their former company, and let them take their journey in haste that they may fill their mission, and through faith they shall overcome;

Then He goes on to really scaring the shit out of Brothers Phelps and Gilbert as they ready their canoe:

14 Behold, I, the Lord, in the beginning blessed the waters; but in the last days, by the mouth of my servant John, I cursed the waters.

15 Wherefore, the days will come that no flesh shall be safe upon the waters.

16 And it shall be said in days to come that none is able to go up to the land of Zion upon the waters, but he that is upright in heart.

17 And, as I, the Lord, in the beginning cursed the land, even so in the last days have I blessed it, in its time, for the use of my saints, that they may partake the fatness thereof.

18 And now I give unto you a commandment that what I say unto one I say unto all, that you shall forewarn your brethren concerning these waters, that they come not in journeying upon them, lest their faith fail and they are caught in snares;

19 I, the Lord, have decreed, and the destroyer rideth upon the face thereof, and I revoke not the decree.

Did you get that? Satan loves racing his jetski up and down the Missouri.

God continues by assuring Elders Sid and Bill that He isn't sending them to be killed on Lucifer's river because He's still pissed off at them. He got over his anger while he was drinking his Postum this morning:

20 I, the Lord, was angry with you yesterday, but today mine anger is turned away.

"Now get your sorry asses out of here."

21 Wherefore, let those concerning whom I have spoken, that should take their journey in haste—again I say unto you, let them take their journey in haste.

Now turning his attention to Sid Rigdon, Joe Smith (yes, that one), and Ollie Cowdery, God tells them they're too damned valuable to risk their butts on the river. He wants them to travel by land, and, maybe, by canal if they're careful:

23 And now, concerning my servants, Sidney Rigdon, Joseph Smith, Jun., and Oliver Cowdery, let them come not again upon the waters, save it be upon the canal, while journeying unto their homes; or in other words they shall not come upon the waters to journey, save upon the canal.

24 Behold, I, the Lord, have appointed a way for the journeying of my saints; and behold, this is the way—that after they leave the canal they shall journey by land, inasmuch as they are commanded to journey and go up unto the land of Zion;

And, oh, that land of Zion is Cincinnati:

30 And again, verily I say unto you, my servants, Sidney Rigdon, Joseph Smith, Jun., and Oliver Cowdery, shall not open their mouths in the congregations of the wicked until they arrive at Cincinnati;

Which in those days appears to have been as wicked a place as Boise is today:

31 And in that place they shall lift up their voices unto God against that people, yea, unto him whose anger is kindled against their wickedness, a people who are well-nigh ripened for destruction.

And dammit, don't you dare try to break up Ray Cahoon and Sam Smith:

35 And let them journey together, or two by two, as seemeth them good, only let my servant Reynolds Cahoon, and my servant Samuel H. Smith, with whom I am well pleased, be not separated until they return to their homes, and this for a wise purpose in me.

Note: This scripture serves as the basis for the prohibition against missionaries swimming,

How PBS Can save its Funding

Elder Mitt's pledge to fire Big Bird continues to be an issue in the campaign nearly a week after after he uttered it. Kidsatanunistofascists cited it as a reason for Brother Romney ducking Nickelodeon's election show (not true--Mitt was ready to attend, having already carefully applied SpaghettiOs and chocolate ice cream stains around his mouth, but pulled out after the kids' network refused to allow him to bus in supporters from the Kenneth Lay Preparatory Academy,) and the Obama team's release of an ad defending Bird Bird on Tuesday.

According to my sources, Elder Romney is willing to continue PBS funding, and perhaps even raise it, if PBS will accept a subcontractor role under Koch Industries and create or modify the following shows:

• Mr. Zimmerman's Neighborhood - Imagine your child's joy when George Zimmerman finally silences Meow Meow Kitty's scary hip hop rhymes.
• This Old Compound - Donald Trump bosses a crew of celebrities who construct defensive positions on farms surrounding the town of Lubbock, Texas.
• Upstairs - Masterpiece Theater's sequel to Upstairs, Downstairs.
• Sesame Street - Replace Big Bird with the Biff, the Bain Capital Parasitic Worm and swap out the human cast for authentic Americans like Honey Boo Boo's family, Larry the Cable Guy, and a creepy youth pastor.
• James Inhofe, The Science Blowoff - Sen. Inhoffe debunks such hoaxes as global warming, evolution, vaccination, rape-induced pregnancy, and pi.
• Rubin's Rainbow - Washington Post blogger Jennifer Rubin reads only the most conservatively correct childrens' books--we're talking classics like Bibi Bombs the poop Out of Paulie the Palestinian.
• The Joy of Painting Authoritarians - Bob Ross may have been baptized into the Mormon Church, years ago, but Michael Savage is ready to teach you how to paint happy little Hitler mustaches.
• Magic Bible School Bus - Join Zebulon the Zygote and his homeschool teacher-mom, Mrs Palin, as they learn all there is about the science behind witch pricking.

Helmet tip to LitBrit for the name of that last show

Give a barrista a tip and he'll feed his belly; but give him your cocoa remnant, and he'll attain chocolaty bliss

You may remember Bryan Young as the producer and assistant director of "This Divided State" or the author of these great books. He recently told me a story that I think perfectly illustrates the depth of Brother Mitt's frugal, free market compassion. It's the kind of story that could come straight out of the Book of Proverbs (King James Version, of course): "Give a barrista a tip and he'll feed his belly; but give him your cocoa remnant, and he'll attain chocolaty bliss."

Here's what Bryan had to say:

My little brother, Jason Young, told me a shocking true story about Mitt Romney from a while back that I've been holding on to, and every time I read a story about him being out of touch it reminds me of this ridiculous story.

You see, despite my brother's gift for offensive comedy, he has thus far made a living as a barista.

For a long time he worked as a barista at a Seattle's Best in a Borders Bookstore at the mouth of Provo Canyon, deep in Mitt's third or fourth homestate of Utah. Provo Canyon is the major artery that leads to Robert Redford's Sundance Ski Resort, the film festival, and all of the most posh doings in central Utah. At the mouth is a shopping center for the wealthy, the Riverwoods, and it's a stopping point for anyone heading up the canyon. Larry King was a regular. Lindsay Lohan stopped by while she was in rehab and making locals rich. John C. Reilly was sighted at a nearby liquor store, even.

One day in 2010 the baristas were surprised to see Mitt Romney and his wife come to the counter.

Since they're both Mormon, neither ordered a coffee drink. They each ordered a hot chocolate and took them... without tipping. It seemed odd for someone so wealthy not to tip, but no one thought of it as a big deal. Baristas usually make less than minimum wage and make their living on tips. I understand that it's not worth Bill Gates' time to pick up a hundred dollar bill, but Mr. Millionaire couldn't dump his change in the tip jar?

The man was out of touch...

...only they didn't know just how out of touch he was until later.

Romney spent some time in the coffee shop as his wife browsed through books before they were called to leave.

On their way out, Ann throws away her half-consumed hot chocolate, but Mitt approaches the counter. "I know you guys can't sell this again, but I was wondering if one of you guys wanted the rest of my hot chocolate."

"No thanks," one of the other baristas told him, wondering if this was some sort of bizarre joke.

"I don't want to waste it, there's still plenty left, it's still perfectly good..."

According to my brother, Romney seemed genuinely confused by their refusal. His hot chocolate was so good he didn't want to waste it, but it wasn't so good that it was worth tipping those who made it. "I think the important part of this story isn't the tipping," my brother explained. "It's that he doesn't understand that everyone else is throwing their unused drinks away because they understand that it's against social norms. His germs are on it, but somehow, in his mind, his millionaire saliva is good enough that it shouldn't bother a barista of the serving class."

I know it's a small story and anecdotal, but after reading about how consistently out of touch he is with society, I think it's incredibly telling of him. I heard today that his wife's dressage horse is competing in the Olympics. He's got more off-shore bank accounts than most Americans have dollars saved. He's never had to struggle a day in his life.

And here he is, pitying the poor baristas, (but not with tips), not wanting to waste the rest of his glorious hot chocolate, and since it was his, it was good enough for them. And it's economic policies that he's espousing (and, sure, the upheaval in the publishing industry) that later put that Borders out of business and got my brother laid off.

It makes me wonder how many more stories like this are out there. Have they decreased because he's on the campaign trail? Or does he still act just as clueless? Is this his idea of charity.

I don't know.

What I do know is that offering a stranger the rest of your drink, explaining that "it's still good" is incredibly weird and hilarious. And it was so outrageous that my brother would have come home and told me this story regardless of the identity of the culprit.

If anyone offered me the rest of the hot chocolate I made them, I'd assume they were a lunatic.

Bryan Young is an author and the editor of Big Shiny Robot! You can follow him on twitter @swankmotron Go buy his books, dammit.

All You Bunnies is Miscegenated!

Thinking Housewife Laura Wood contemplates life, the universe, and everything and comes to this conclusion about board books for babies:

The books aggressively assert racial diversity, even to the point of depicting animals as black or white, and yet ironically it is white parents who are the most frequent borrowers. [The Heritage American blogger, Stephen] Hopewell writes:

[A]m I the only one who feels like I am being targeted or manipulated when I am presented with book after book with a black child on the cover, to take home and read to my white baby?

Patriot James P gets his two cents in:

There is a series that really annoys me — I’m blanking on the name because I always find a way to avoid reading the books when my son hands them to me at the library — in which the protagonist is an environmentally conscious Hispanic boy.

I refuse to read The Lorax because I detest its inane anti-Capitalist message.

Thinking Not-Housewife James N agrees and adds that working not-men are responsible for the sorry state of children's literature:

The avalanche of minority role models follows the “be happy when mommy goes to work” genre. There is not one decent board book or early reader with a father depicted positively published in the last 30 years. The Newberry medal was given in the 90s to a book where a child becomes disabled after his father runs him over because he’s late for a poker game.

Elsewhere: All you Soggy Bottom Boys is Miscegenated!



And for no reason other than my inner Frenchman wanted to share:

Boxcar Willy doesn't laugh at me

It's not easy being America's greatest patriot. Our nations greatest enemies quickly make you a target. They'll stop at nothing to take you down.

Their greatest weapon is ridicule. They save it for use in special operations when they need to shut me up because the information I'm sharing with you poses the greatest danger to them, like when I exposed the OBAMUNIST USURPER and Tupac Shakur to be reptilian aliens.

A lot of people laughed at me after that, but one man, Alex Jones associate, David Ickes didn't laugh. He knows the truth about reptillians:

At the heart of his theories lies the idea that a secret group of reptilian humanoids called the Babylonian Brotherhood controls humanity, and that many prominent figures are reptilian, including George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth II, Kris Kristofferson, and Boxcar Willie.

Icke has been criticized for arguing that the reptilians were the original authors of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion-a 1903 Russian forgery purporting to be a plan by the Jewish people to achieve world domination-a claim that has attracted the attention of the far right and the suspicion of Jewish groups. Icke strongly denies there is anything antisemitic about this. He was allowed to enter Canada in 1999 only after persuading immigration officials that when he said lizards, he meant lizards, but his books were still removed from the shelves of Indigo Books, a Canadian chain, after protests from the Canadian Jewish Congress.

Hollyweirdofascists Demonize Archie Bunker and Negrofy "The Hunger Games"

Diana at The Thinking Housewife lists a couple of problems she has with "The Hunger Games."

First, she doesn't see how the film will help our plutocratic masters. Sure, we might like the ruling class's gaudy makeup and fashions, but the Hollyweirdofascist liberals who are making the series will poison our minds and make us hate our betters in the end.

According to Diana, that's what they did with "All in the Family:"

Conservatives at first hated that show but Archie Bunker, as portrayed by the late, great Carroll O’Connor, became something of a hero. The audience transformed the butt into the reason for watching the show, it’s true, but, except on rare occasions, the producers were always on “The Meathead’s” side, and he always got the last word, so no matter what, the liberals won.

Second, Diana joins the chorus of those who are angry about the negrofication of the film:

No, so read Mr. Hood’s review, paying particular attention to the character’s Cinna, Thresh and Rue, the first of whom (I gather, I haven’t read them) wasn’t black in the books. I would add to this that an unnamed black character in the film starts an anti-government revolution (so he’s another black good guy); that Rue’s death scene rivals that of Little Nell’s as maudlin camp, and that Thresh, a young black man, throttles to death a young white female contestant in full view of the camera, while his death is mercifully indicated off screen, and not shown. Stacking the books, anyone?

Lib Media Lightens White Shooter's Photo to Make Him Look Crackerish

KSL.com

Dan Riehl
Proudly White Patrioblogger
Riehl World View

Dear Mr. Riehl,

Although I enjoyed your post about how mediaislamunistofascists lightened Trayvon Martin's photo to make him appear less thuggish, I think you are mistaken.

We live in a time in which white Christian hetero males experience more discrimination than any other group in the nation. You know it's true. You watch Fox News and read everything published in the Breitbartosphere. Heck, you've even written about it.

The liberal media wouldn't manipulate a photo to make a person's skin appear darker in order to make him look "thuggish." No, they'd lighten his skin to make him look crackerish.

Take a look at the two photos of Landon Jorgensen and you'll see what I mean.

But why would the mediaislamunistofascists want to villainize Landon Jorgensen by making him look like a cracker? Well, the answer is obvious. He's a patriot.

Take a look at his Blogger profile:

LANDON JORGENSEN

My Blogs
Guns, Freedom, and Politics

About Me

Gender: Male
Location: Hurricane, Utah, United States
Introduction: I'm a regular guy in my own right. I love this country and I want to get it back to the way it was when our founding fathers were alive. I am a USMC veteran and was medically discharged for my back issues. When I was discharged I immediately got into being a firearms instructor. My passion is to teach people the correct way to use firearms so that they can be both safe and fun. My goal in life is to own a gun store with shooting range attached.
Interests: Guns, 4 wheeling, camping, hunting. Want to get some horses soon. Red necks, white trucks, and blue ribbon beer. That's American.
Favorite Music: country
Favorite Books: Glenn Beck's Arguing With Idiots

Mr. Jacobson worked as a tactical pistol firearms instructor at the Southern Utah Shooting Sports Park, which, according to its website, is "one of the premier cowboy action shooting venues in the region."

He was also a frequent contributer to concealedcarryforum.com.

He was a real patriot and passionate defender of our right to bear arms.

Oh, and they say he murdered his girlfriend and her 5-year old daughter before he shot himself, but a gun rights warrior wouldn't do that. I bet it was a black guy. Don't you?

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Update

From Patriot Jorgenson's blog:

While many of you may not agree with what the NRA does as a whole, many fail to understand the importance of what they have done for us. Since 1871 they have been the leaders in securing our Second Amendment freedoms.

[...]

Well, if you're not pro-gun then you are anti-gun! I've tried to explain to her several times that if it weren't for guns, this country would've never been freed from England's reign.

In another post we lean he's the only concealed carry instructor who uses powerpoint and holds classes at the local Harley dealer:

If you are in the southern Utah area and do not have your UT Concealed Firearm Permit, let me know and I will schedule you for an upcoming class. The team I teach with is the best one in the region. We are the only ones that have a powerpoint presentation, the only ones that take our students to the shooting range, and the only ones that do it at the Zion Harley Davidson!

Knitting A Lady Part for Congress is Nothing Less than a Hate Crime

The "Snatchel Project's" stated plans are bad enough:

Let’s make a uterus or VJJ for each male rep in congress!

If they have their own, they can leave ours alone!

Follow these simple steps:

1. Knit or crochet a vagina or uterus
2. Print a message to enclose (see below for a suggested message)
3. Mail it to your male Senator or Congressional Representative (see the links to the right)
4. [...]

Tell your male government representatives: “Hands off my uterus! Here’s one of your own!”

But it's their unstated plan that worries me the most. Take a look at the photo of the seditious vulva Jolene Mosley knitted. See that brown thing at the top? It's the mythical "sailor in the boat," a fiction created by femislamunistofascists to convince wives that their husbands are inadequate.

I know. OfJoshua is always demanding that I locate it. No matter how hard I try, I can't find it, because it doesn't exist. I tell OfJoshua that, but she's been poisoned by years of reading books and attending school. She tells me Mr. Garcia can find it, and when I remind her he isn't even married, she laughs and tells me we should both get jobs with John Ensign. I don't know what the hell she mans by that. It must be one of those irrational woman things.

Perpetuating the myth of the little sailor in a boat destroys marriages. It's nothing less than a hate crime.

Department of Book Reports: Chickens

It's getting to be Gardening season again, and I've heard folks talking about adding Chickens. I have stocked up on a few titles (sorry! Barnyard in Your Backyard sold before this post!) Not only will chickens add to your Nitrate content, also, you would have eggs! Chickens in Your Backyard is a very good beginner guide, and Raising Poultry is much more in-depth and technical. My favorite title is Hen and the Art of Chicken Maintenance, which will charm anyone considering keeping yard birds.

Chickens in Your Backyard has it's own "Stuff Found In Books" entry on the bookstores FB page, and Raising Poultry has some old news clippings tucked in.

Awesome Local Author News: Jeff Billingame has won the NAACP Image Award for his biography of Jesse Owens, I Love to Run (Enslow, $23.95) The book is published by an academic/library press, and I can't find a way to offer it for sale. You'd be best to buy direct from the publisher and not the Evil Empire who wants $28-30 some dollars for it. That's how they roll. It's unfortunate that I cannot carry a local author's book in my store. These situations are like text book sales. Perhaps I might could find you a copy at a greater price than you can get it from the source, but I'd rather you click and help keep that publisher going.

What's on your nightstand this week?

Department of Book Reports: Everybody Loves Our Towns

I thought I'd talk about a couple books set in towns I love, but you don't need to be a fan to fall in love with these volumes. First up, Everybody Loves Our Town: An Oral History of Grunge by Mark Yarm (Crown, $25)  Mark Yarm is a former editor at Blender and spent 2 years researching and conducting 250 interviews to give a remarkable history of a pre-Starbucks, pre-Microsoft Seattle, a time and music that ended too soon. Chuck Palahniuk's Cult blog has an interview with Yarm about the bands and of course, Courtney Love.  

This book has some great never-before published photos, like Soundgarden in 1994 and Candlebox impersonating you know who in 1995.

Wildwood by Colin Meloy and illustrated by Carson Ellis (HarperCollins, $17.99) Wildwood is a real place, an Impassable Wilderness in Portland, OR. Colin Meloy, the lead singer for the Decemberists and his wife Carson Ellis have crafted a modern fairytale in a city wilderness. A wilderness no one has ever returned from. But when Prue McKeel's little brother is kidnapped by crows she and her friend Curtis must journey into this land of magic and danger to rescue him.    

Department of Book Reports: Border Songs

Border Songs, by Jim Lynch (Knopf paper $16) Six foot eight inch Brandon Vanderkool has always stuck out. His dyslexia and attention to the details of the landscape and birds give him a unique perspective as a new Border Patrol officer. Noticing details that others miss as soon gotten him the title of "Shit Magnet" among the rest of the patrol. He mother is slipping more and more into early onset alzheimer's, while his father worries over the condition of his diary cows health, and the boat he has been building in a back barn but may never finish and sail.

This story is set along the once casual border, near the Peace Arch, where lucrative smuggling has lured locals into helping both people and B.C. Bud into America. Brandon's life-long friends and townspeople all seem involved in the now lucrative transportation. Canadian mountains sprout McMansions overlooking what had been diaries, now turned to raspberry farms complete with immigrant workers.

 The job gives Brandon plenty of time to indulge in his daily Bird Counts and his art; patterns in leaves and stones which he compulsively builds. This natural art is compared to Andrews Goldsworthy by a neighbor who puts on an opening for the town on the day the new Casino opens up the road. After I finished reading this, we watched  "Rivers and Tides" which I very much recommend:


Jim Lynch is also the author of the Award-winning YA novel, Highest Tide and the forthcoming Truth Like The Sun, which looks at the 50th Anniversary of  the Seattle World's Fair(!) On April 29th, I'll be selling books at his Westport appearance, sponsored by the Timberland Library. Let me know if you'd like a signed copy then, or your can get unsigned copies from us now.

Department of Book Reports: Occult America

Occult America, The Secret History of How Mysticism Shaped Our Nation by Mitch Horowitz (Bantam, $16) Mitch Horowitz is an editor and author of occult and esoteric topics and here he places out a fine history of their influences in America's history. Starting with the German philosopher Johannes Kelpius' pilgrims arrival in Philadelphia in 1694 and the "Burned-over District" of upstate New York he shows how these early thinkers promoted social progress and individual betterment.Albany and the Hudson Valley became known as The Burned-over District because it was once home to so many prophets and ideologies that burned bright and launched religions across the country. Mother Ann Lee's Shakers settled here and Joesph Smith found his Seeing Stones here. Millerites, or Seventh-day Adventists, the Universal Publick Friend, Masons, Mesmerism, and Transcendentalism all had homes here. Horowitz moves his history through Spiritualism, Seances, Madame Blavatsky's secrets of the Eastern Masters; how these secret or hidden histories influenced the beginnings of the New Age Movement and also William Dudley Pelley's Silver Shirts and White Supremacy movement. Hoodoo influenced Frederick Douglas, Professor Black Herman, and Marcus Garvey, Ghandi credited Theosophy for his principle of equality of universal brotherhood of man and his non-violent ethics that would later touch Martin Luther King, Jr. Astrology, The Age of Aquarius, and Creative Visualization were the beginnings of Prosperity Philosophies from Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill most recently seen in the popularity of "The Secret". I haven't even managed to mention Rosicrucians, Ouija, Edgar Cayce, Tarot, Wicca or Voodoo. Trust me, it's all covered in this engaging volume. This is a great book for anyone interested in the spiritual evolution of our country. In this day when politicians are compelled to tell us of their personal mission from God, it's good to remember this has always been a nation with a wide spectrum of religious experience. Occult America is available at Jackson Street Books , as well as fine independent bookstores everywhere. ps: sorry about the formatting, Blogger hates me today. Really, I did put spaces between the paragraphs.

Department of Book Reports: Happy New Year

The very exhausted bookstore people wish you and yours a very Happy New Year. We're looking forward to talking about good books next year.

Department of Book Reports: We're Making a List and Checking It Twice

It has come to our attention that the authors you'll find on this list have turned out to be no-good commie rats. I'll bet some of your favorite writers are on this list. I'm shocked! Shocked!

Occupy Writers


And, most assuredly, many of these authors and their books can be found at Jackson Street Books and other fine independent bookstores.

Today is Take your Child to a Bookstore Day, and the first annual Ho Ho Hoquiam. Here's hoping to see you in a bookstore today, perhaps even ours!

Department of Book Reports: Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford (Random House, tp $15)I hadn't had a chance to read this back when it came out, and recently a customer was telling me how much her whole book club enjoyed reading it together. Carol was right! This is, as the title says, a bitter sweet love story set in Seattle's Chinatown and Nihonmachi district. Henry Lee has just lost his wife Ethel to cancer in 1986, when he learns that the belongings of 37 families have been discovered in the basement of The Panama Hotel. On the eve of relocating to the Japanese internment camps of WWII, people had stored their possessions in hopes of returning someday to start their lives over again. This part of the story is entirely true, The Panama Hotel stands today, and you can see the trunks and cartons through a piece of plexiglass set into the floor of the renovated Tea Room.

Henry was a scholarship student at an exclusive all-white school in the lead up to Pearl Harbor, and his best friend was the only other Asian "scholarshipping" student, Keiko Okabe. Henry's father hates the Japanese and feels the deportment is "Better them than us", and he makes Henry wear an "I am Chinese" button whenever he goes out. Henry has to hide his friendship and later love of Kieko from his family. Sheldon, a sax playing street busker protects Henry & Kieko from teasing and abuse as they walk to school or sneak into the after hours Jazz clubs along Jackson Street. When Sheldon gets a gig with Oscar Holden at the Black Elks Club, he gets to play on the only recording ever made of the band, and this album will a longlost touchstone for Henry & Keiko. Sheldon will come to help Henry visit Keiko at Minidoka, a very long trip those days in the belly of the big dog (Greyhound). Later, back in Seattle, Henry thinks Keiko has forgotten him, never suspecting his father of intercepting her letters. It won't be until the mid-eighties that Henry & Keiko will hear the Alley Cat song again that Oscar Holden had dedicated to the young couple.

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet is a love story during one of America's most horrible episodes and a touching examination of father and son dynamics, both the staunch autocrat of his father and Henry's relationship with his own most modern son, Marty. The setting is historically accurate as you can see by the links I included above.

The book, of course, is available at Jackson Street Books, as well as other fine independent bookstores.

Department of Book Reports:The Man in The Moon

Children's Literature, I have to admit, is not my strong suit when it comes to bookselling. Oh, I'm acquainted with much of it, for sure. I read voraciously when I was child myself, and when our son came along, I rediscovered much of it. Not that I'm disparaging of KiddieLit; there are some fine authors and great stories out there, that go on beyond Zebra, and make it fun to have fun, though you have to know how. (Also some of the best book people I know are devoted to children's books). But since my maturity (or some would say my lack therof), I've tended to read books meant for adults.

But several years ago, I stumbled across the work of William Joyce. Specifically, I read his book Santa Calls and was enthralled by both his art and his story. Naturally, being the fine father I am, and with my son at an appropriate age, I brought Santa Calls home and read it to him many times. So when William Joyce produces a new book, I will read it, even if my son is no longer at a convenient age to be read to.

So I was excited when in the last month a new book by William Joyce was published. It is called The Man in the Moon (Atheneum $17.99) and it does not disappoint. It is a boldy illustrated tale, the first in a projected series Joyce is writing entitled The Guardians of Childhood. The book (and the other titles to come) explain the origins of some of our best loved symbols of childhood, like the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. The Man in the Moon, then, tells the tale of how the Man in the Moon got there, his parentage, his friend, Nightlight and nemesis, Pitch, who is aided by his henchmen, the Nightmare Men.

Joyce has a wonderful sense of what appeals to the young mind and it is no wonder that he has worked with Disney Studios and Pixar on many of their pictures, including Toy Story, as well as the PBS series George Shrinks. Even if you have no taste for children's stories, his illustrations are breath-taking and it is worth having this book and others by him just for the sheer beauty of them. And if you do have a young child in your life, I highly recommend you check out The Man in the Moon. That child will love it.

The Man in the Moon is available at Jackson Street Books and other fine independent bookstores throughout the land, and, perhaps, even on the moon itself. What are some of your favorite books of childhood?

UFO Collides With Author William Joyce from Moonbot Studios on Vimeo.

My Amazon Review of Bill O'Reilly's History of Lincoln

Update II: Amazon finally published my revised review of Bill O'Reilly's "Killing Lincoln: The Shocking Assassination that Changed America Forever." Please consider casting a "helpful" vote for it. I'd like to continue my string of having the "Most Helpful 'Favorable" Reviews" of books written by patriots, blah, blah, blah...

Here's the revised review (scroll down to see the original review they rejected):

4.0 out of 5 stars A History of "Should Have Beens", November 13, 2011

By

Gen. JC Christian, patriot (Tremonton, UT United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Killing Lincoln: The Shocking Assassination that Changed America Forever (Hardcover)

There are many who criticize "Killing Lincoln" as "sloppy history," "a long, rather boring, string of lies," or "an ahistorical vanity project foisted on a passionately credulous fan base by an egomaniacal serial prevaricator." I think it's more than that. It's the culmination of a lifetime of effort on Mr. O'Reilly's part to establish a new kind of truth, a truth based more on what one man believes "should have been" rather than such unreliable things as facts.

Despite it's many errors, I believe it to be one of the greatest historical works of all time. Forget Barbara Tuchman, Arthur Schlesinger, Jr., and Rick Perlstein; "Killing Lincoln" confirms O'Reilly as the greatest historian since Melvin Dummar.

It's all there: the burning of Ford's theater a year later than records indicate, the first confirmation that Lee stood Grant up after surrendering at Appomattox, and the hundreds of other "should have beens" O'Reilly so boldly proclaims within this book.

Unfortunately, I cannot give "Killing Lincoln" five stars. O'Reilly leaves out too many great "should have beens" that would of added immensely to the book. Lincoln would have appeared to be a much greater man had he won two Peabody Awards for journalism and was born in Leavittown.

Additionally, it would have made for much spicier reading had O'Reilly claimed that Abraham "The Factor" Lincoln had "courted" Harriet Beecher Stowe by sending her late night, laudanum-fueled telegraph messages or added chapters on Lincoln's love for 7" Loofa Sponges and Professional Falafel Scoop Scooper tools. That's something all great men do.

And where are the claims that William H. Seward was a filthy communist hippy or that Edwin M. Stanton was secretly allied with Hitler? One has to wonder if the publisher exercised a bit too much editorial control.

Hopefully, Mr. O'Reilly will not allow such criticisms to dissuade him from writing additional histories. Like that other great historian, Baron Karl von Münchhausen, he may not receive the accolades he deserves during his lifetime, but his legacy will be timeless.

Update: Amazon rejected my review (that's a first, they usually wait until I reach "most helpful" status). I'll try rewriting it.

I've submitted my review of Bill O'Reilly's "Killing Lincoln: The Shocking Assassination that Changed America Forever" to Amazon. Once it gets posted, you can see it here. Please consider casting a "helpful" vote for it. I'd like to continue my string of having the "Most Helpful 'Favorable" Reviews" of books written by patriots. This one will be tough to do given the lateness of my submission, so I'd appreciate any help you can provide.

4.0 out of 5 stars An O'Reilly Kind of Truth, November 13, 2011

By

Gen. JC Christian, patriot (Tremonton, UT United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Killing Lincoln: The Shocking Assassination that Changed America Forever (Hardcover)

There are many who criticize "Killing Lincoln" as "sloppy history," "a long, rather boring, string of lies," or "an ahistorical vanity project foisted on a passionately credulous fan base by an egomaniacal serial prevaricator." I think it's more than that. It's the culmination of a lifetime of effort on Mr. O'Reilly's part to establish a new kind of truth, a truth based more on what one man believes should have been rather than such unreliable things as facts.

Sure, it may not be "true" that Lincoln won two Peabody Awards for journalism or was born in Leavittown, but, by gosh, it should be.

Yes, maybe it's a stretch to claim the President "courted" Harriet Beecher Stowe by sending her late night, laudanum-fueled telegraph messages describing certain unnatural acts that can be conducted using a variety of tubers and other garden vegetables. It may also be hard to believe that Honest Abe used a falafel to lather a showering Miss Sarah Bernhard. But, certainly, those are things that a great man, a man like Abraham "The Factor" Lincoln, would do.

As for claims that Lincoln rival William H. Seward was a filthy communist hippy or that Edwin M. Stanton was secretly allied with Hitler, well, only a filthy communist Nazi hippy would question such obviously true facts.

Hopefully, Mr. O'Reilly will not allow such criticisms to dissuade him from writing additional histories. Like that other great historian, Baron Karl von Münchhausen, he may not receive the accolades he deserves during his lifetime, but his legacy will be timeless.

Department of Book Reports: New to the shelves

It's been an exciting week in Hoquiam's smallest bookstore: we kicked off the week with a Monday night party for the much anticipated release of Christopher Paolini's 4th book, Inheritance, from his Eragon series. The story of these books is remarkable in itself: as a home-schooled student, Christopher wrote the first book and self published it. He had good success locally and Carl Hiassen's son picked up a copy at an indie bookstore while vacationing in Montana. He loved it and told his dad, who was able to present it to his Knopf editor, and the rest is publishing history.

We also have a couple new cookbooks on the shelves. Pacific Feast tells you what to do with fiddle head fern sprouts, nettles, dandelions and many other roots & shoots. I've tangled with nettles in my youth, so I appreciate the author's instructions on how to not be stung, and also not to put the stems into your food processor (the fiber of the stems are so strong that they are used by native tribes to twine into fishing nets and baskets). I'm going to try some of the seaweed recipes soon. Be sure to visit her website for more inspiration.

Make the Bread, Buy the Butter comes from the blogger at The Tipsy Baker. I recommend you bookmark that site for all the recipes she cooks from her collection of thousands of cookbooks. Often opinionated, and constantly delightful, the book examines what you can make at home, and what you really shouldn't.


These books and more are available at (Jackson Street) Books On 7th and fine Independent bookstores everywhere. Visit us on Facebook Jackson Street Books.

Department of Book Reports:We Were Stardust

We Were Stardust by Kathrin King Segal (Bucket List, $15.00) Today's book is from a dear Second Life pal, Seacat, whose first novel Wild Again (link to hilarious vid) was published by Dutton way back when I worked for the publisher. (Wild Again is an erotic thriller set in NYC and long out of print, but Kathrin does have some copies available & we can put you in touch with her.)

"I found my grandmother on eBay." Juliette, our young narrator tells of finding bits from her grandmother's life, unknown to her family after she put her baby, Juliette's father up for adoption in 1971. Juliette catalogs her finds for us, the posters, the newspaper clippings, the glossy photos and LPs, and uses them to piece together the years in smoking night clubs and coffee houses. Juliette assures us the story is "mostly true".

We Were Stardust follows a cast of friends as they each try to find their place in the early Rock and Roll years. Julie will dazzle and spin through their lives, her bi-polar depression will spin her further and further from their lives, even as she worries it will be they who abandon her. She is madly in love with Luke, who will go onto the record deals and platinum records. Elliott who wants to be a music producer and finds himself partnered with Mafia, Arlene who will become his dutiful wife, and Rochelle, who ends up being the sensible business woman. Record deals and betrayals will split them up and reunite them in unexpected ways.

The world of music is lovingly re-imagined here, all the major points and places will have you remembering those days from Woodstock to the day Peter Thorkelson mentions he has a call-back from his audition for this new television show just being cast: The Monkees. New York to the L.A. scene, real life events reverberate this novel. Juliette gives us the proof in her eBay purchases, the ticket stubs and forty-fives and their winning bid price.

This is a world Kathrin, a writer, singer, songwriter and actor knows well, her own music and voice grew up in New York and she really did meet the many musicians who flicker across the pages in cameos. Kathrin was part of these early scenes and, as she says: She can remember the 60's! I recommend this as a great read for anyone looking for characters you come to love and a story you really wish wouldn't end. I just hope we don't have to wait another 20 years to read Juliette's story.

Jackson Street Books has signed copies of We Were Stardust, and you can find out more at Kathrin's website and purchase copies of her CDs. Her novel's FB page is here.

Congratulations, Kathrin! We are so happy to see this book in print!

Department of Book Reports: Ted Williams: The Biography of an American Hero

Continuing in our biography binge, and with the playoffs being played and the World Series looming, I thought I'd look at Leigh Montville's Ted Williams: The Biography of an American Hero (Broadway Books $18.00), a book published originally in 2004. It is a fascinating book about a fascinating man.

Williams grew up in San Diego, the son of an unhappily married couple. His mother was a Mexican-American, who devoted her life to the Salvation Army and pretty much neglected both Ted and his brother, Danny. His father seemed to be mostly a non-presence in their lives. Ted early on, with some adult mentors, focussed his life on baseball and especially hitting a baseball. (Danny ended up a ne'er-do-well, whose life was tragic.) Ted seemed to miss getting much in the way of social graces, and throughout his life was loud, brash, and supremely confident in his abilities, whether it was in baseball, or hunting and fishing which he also excelled at. His cockiness probably cost him an extra year in the minor leagues, as the Red Sox management felt he need a year to mature.

Williams won the Triple Crown twice (leading the league in batting average, home runs and runs batted in), but his most famous season in 1941, when he hit .406, the last time any major league player has hit over .400 for the season. It was the year before the United States entered the Second World War; it was also the year that Joe DiMaggio had his 56 game hitting streak. (The naturalist Stephen Jay Gould wrote an essay some years back on why no one will ever have a .400 season again; it's likely no one will soon break the Joltin' Joe's record either). Montville has a nice little riff, paraphrasing Robert Creamer, on DiMaggio and Williams. DiMaggio was champagne; Williams was beer; Joe was the New Yorker; Ted was Field and Stream.

Ted was politically conservative, but his life belied whatever political stances he took. He was generous to a fault, especially with children and the Jimmy Fund in Boston was special to him. He was also a soft touch and aghast whenever confronted by abject poverty. And he was one of the primary movers in getting Organized Baseball to take note of the Negro Leagues and the many stars it had. He took the occasion of his induction into Baseball's Hall of Fame to say: "I've been a very lucky guy to have worn a baseball uniform, and I hope some day the names of Satchel Paige and Josh Gibson in some way can be added as a symbol of the great Negro players who are not here only because they weren't given a chance."

Williams later managed the Washington Senators and then the Texas Rangers, the first year the franchise was shifted. His later years were complicated by his relationship with his only son, John Henry, who had problems with money. Montville writes with great authority and easy style and without academic pedantry, that makes the book accessible to all, even those with little interest in baseball. I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this book, but I'm glad I have. The book is available from Jackson Street Books and other fine independent bookstores. Enjoy.